Working with individuals to find a new role or get "on track" is a privilege. I love doing it. Mostly, I enjoy meeting people, learning about their career history, their likes and dislikes and helping them solve the puzzle of "what's next"?
There are usually two steps in this process that I walk with everyone, regardless of their career needs or objectives.
1. How do I get my confidence back?
2. How do I find my next job?
The first step varies from person to person but the second step always results in the same answer - networking. And when I say this, most people cringe. People HATE to network. And here's why - because they feel like they are walking up to people (sometimes total strangers) and asking for a job. It is a confidence killer. No one likes to be in this position. They feel out of control. I get answers like:
"How to do I that if I don't know anyone there?"
"What do I say?"
"How do I explain why I am looking?"
People. Feel. Vulnerable.
And no one likes to feel vulnerable.
And because people are uncomfortable answering these questions, they don't want to network. They'd rather "network" online with the computer and job postings. But most jobs (maybe close to 80%) are still filled through networking. Companies love receiving employee referrals. Companies would rather interview someone that an employee recommended than someone that applied out of nowhere. Companies will look at your LinkedIn profile to check you out, but they still prefer referrals. It doesn't mean that applying via job sites doesn't produce results. It just means the chances are much smaller.
So how do people get over the hump of networking? By changing their frame of mind. First, remember that everyone looks for a job sometime....whether they want to or not. There is no negative stigma associated with looking for a job. Second, forget about asking for a job because you shouldn't be asking for a job. You shouldn't be saying hello and handing them your resume at the same time. No one wants a resume thrust at them from a stranger. You should be making connections. The only way a door opens is to open it.
Here's 3 ways to get comfortable with networking:
- Start a conversation. Think about how you might introduce yourself to someone else new. Begin a friendship and a relationship. Ask them to tell you about themselves. Be genuinely interested in their lives.
- Express an interest in the other person. Ask about THEIR career, THEIR likes and dislikes and THEIR opinions. Learn about them. Ask them to tell you why they like the company and why they like to work there.
- Say thanks. Seems straightforward but most people forget to express gratitude for the fact that someone took time out of their day to help you. So say thanks. Thank them for their time, their opinions and their insights. And, if after a few conversations you do think you are interested in their company, then let them know you think the place they work would be a great fit, where you could contribute and learn, and ask who they think you should speak with next.
Networking isn't about asking for a job. It's about building a relationship. If you can get someone to introduce you, then great. But if you don't know anyone, don't be afraid to make the connection yourself. In my book Rise to the Top, I recognize that people have different personalities. Some are more confident but humble while others would rather someone else tooted their horn. But we all need relationships in our professional lives to find the right jobs and be successful. Remember: people don't bite. Be friendly, be professional, and ask them about themselves. The walls will come down and the conversation will flow. Play to your strengths and you will succeed.
And if someone does say no - so what? What has really changed in your life? Are you less capable? Less able to do your job? Less successful? No, no and no. Even the most successful people get told "No" 1,000 times over in their career.
If you look at networking as making friends, you might hate networking a lot less.
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